Now on the heels of Valentine’s Day, we arrive immediately into Family Day. What images are conjured up in your mind when you reflect on your childhood? How does this play a role for you as a family member today? Is there room for healing in the relationship with yourself to improve relationships?
Images of the past vary from person to person. My family dynamics were sad and shocking at best. Dad was an abusive alcoholic and Mom was a shattered spirit of a woman under such cruel dominance. Can you imagine going to bed hungry? Walking to school with holes in the soles of your shoes? Living in fear on a daily basis? For many, such circumstances incubate the higher qualities of being human. These situations can and often do foster a tenderness for others and can also lead to people pleasing…meaning say yes to helping them…when in fact, you need to say yes to yourself first. For all intents and purpose, this appears to be a double edged sword. The kind, compassionate and give being inside says, “I will not grow up to be like my parents.” The struggles that ensue growing into youth, adolescence and adulthood are the very events that bring us greater lessons and deeper awareness. Many take the lemons of childhood and make lemonade in adulthood.
The powerlessness of childhood and the power of life events, when we have the power to exercise choice, do play a role regarding the relationship with yourself as well as your role in family interactions as an adult. It is easy to witness other people’s interactions…thinking that the neighbour’s words are too “expletive deleted” when yelling at the children. It is easy to criticize another person when unaware of their past. The past often leaves layers of negative self-messages within many of us. Underlying negative messages tend to sabotage our best intentions.
Negative self messages can promote being unkind and critical. Being alert to and changing reactions to responses feels challenging. Developing compassionate understanding is a skill set that is just as important as effective communication skills. When emotional negative self messages are active inside of us, making the best choice is challenging. The mean and unkind words of the past create barriers, to various degrees, to our ability to choose wisely. Think of the filter on the hot air furnace. The filter needs to be changed regularly. Otherwise the contamination congested in the filter is blown into the air within the home. Emotional wounds works the same way. The non-positive message compress and are layered in our emotional filter. Eckhart Tolle, author of Living in the Now, refers to this as the “pain body”. This emotional filter requires a clearing out in order to prevent the reactions and ensure positive responses. The clearing of the pain body or emotional filter is often referred to as emotional healing or emotional unburdening.
Identifying the emotional wounds requires courage to begin the journey of healing. Healing the past allows you to make, not right choices, but correct choices…thus, manifesting more happiness and well Being.
Healing is not a ‘fixing’ of the past. We fix cars, plumbing etc. Fixing implies that the items will require maintenance again due to wear and tear or neglect. Healing is a process that support releasing the non-positive messages and replaces them with strong and lasting positive self-respect and self-confidence. Healing creates a new and healthier relationship within yourself. This, in turn, flow effortlessly into developing and sustaining happier and nurturing relationship with the family. These improved interactions bring forth a sense of safety and security as well as a sense of belonging and acceptance.
When you think of family, do you think, “I am not behaving like my Mom or Dad.”? Or, do you feel safe, secure, belonging, accepted, respected and loved? Participating in and becoming more and more your authentic spirit self, empowers you to enjoy all of this and more. Healing the emotions is key to Well Being. When you are in that more Divine state of Being, not only will you and your family benefit but also your friends, customers, staff and business also reap the same rewards.
Doreen South of Angel Whispers Consulting is Certified in Traditional Healing as well as an Ordained Minister. Doreen works in many First Nations Medical Centers along with the psychologist, addictThe process of Emotional Unburdening supports your abilities to identify, rewrite, release the past, reclaimed the cherished self and integrate the healing for lasting results. You are invited to book your sessions by contacting firstname.lastname@example.org www.angelwhispersconsulting.com